“I don’t want to go to school” is a common utterance in most teen households. It’s normal for parents to hear their child complain about school every once in a while. But if your teen is avoiding school or refusing to go regularly, something serious could be going on.
At Liz Morrison Therapy, our clinicians specialize in working with adolescents and their families to navigate situations like teen truancy and school anxiety. We understand how tough a situation like this can be for your family, and we’re here to help with therapy for teens. Learning about what’s really going on beneath the school avoidance behaviors can help you figure out how to best support your child and move forward.
Teen Truancy vs. School Avoidance
A common question we get is, what’s the difference between teen truancy and teen school avoidance? Also known as “unexcused absence,” teen truancy is when your child is skipping classes or school without your knowledge. They may be missing parts of a school day or multiple days on end, but you likely have no idea – until you get a call from the principal’s office.
School avoidance, on the other hand, is when your teen won’t go to school and insists on staying home.
As a parent, you’re probably concerned about either scenario. So what’s going on behind these behaviors?
5 Reasons for Teen School Avoidance
Here are some common reasons behind teen school avoidance.
1. Concerns About Violence and Bullying
According to data from the CDC, experiences of bullying, violence, and sexual violence – particularly among girls and LGBT+ students – cause high levels of trauma and distress and keep kids from going to school. More than 14% of girls reported experiencing sexual violence in 2021, and more than 1 in 10 LGBTQ+ kids missed school because of safety concerns.
Recognizing signs of bullying, such as sudden mood changes, unexplained injuries, or withdrawal from social activities, can help you better understand your child’s behavior. Open discussions about safety and relationships can uncover whether these concerns are keeping your kid from the classroom.
2. Anxiety, Stress, and Depression
An estimated 87 percent of young people experience anxiety, stress, and depression at high levels. School can make underlying mental health issues worse. The pressures of academics, social expectations, and extracurricular commitments can cause some teens to experience significant physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or even panic attacks, all of which make school anxiety worse.
In cases where anxiety or depression is at the root of school avoidance, professional support can be crucial. A teen therapist can help your child learn strategies like how to challenge negative thought patterns and develop helpful ways of coping.
3. Trauma
Trauma can arise from any situation or event that leaves a teen feeling unsafe or underresourced. This includes witnessing something violent or disturbing, experiencing a loss, or navigating a significant change in life circumstances. School avoidance can be an indicator of post-traumatic stress. Where even seemingly minor stressors feel overwhelming. They might not be able to concentrate or focus, making their time in a classroom distressing or frustrating. Trauma also has significant impacts on mood and mental health, and they may struggle to connect with friends or peers.
4. Academic Struggles or Conflicts with Teachers
Academic struggles and conflicts with teachers can be big factors in school avoidance. Learning challenges, such as neurodivergence, dyslexia, or other learning disabilities, can make school feel like a daily struggle. If a student doesn’t receive adequate support or feels incapable of meeting high academic expectations, they may experience shame, frustration, or hopelessness.
The dynamic between students and teachers also plays a critical role in a teen’s attitude about school. A teen might avoid school to escape confrontations or situations where they feel unfairly treated, judged, or misunderstood.
5. Peer Drama or Friendship Issues
Social dynamics are one of the most important influences in a teen’s life. Problems with friendships, peer rejection, or social drama can significantly impair a teen's mental health and desire to attend school. It can be devastating to struggle in these areas, especially in situations where rumors, gossip, or exclusion are involved.
How to Help When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Go to School
Addressing school avoidance starts with understanding the underlying causes. Here are some ways you can help your teen.
Identify the Root Causes: Consider what might be driving your teen’s school refusal. Are they anxious about a particular event or ongoing situation? Do they feel overwhelmed socially, emotionally, or academically? Take a look at their school’s environment as well—how supportive is the school in helping your teen navigate their challenges? Consider whether home life may be contributing to the issue as well, such as challenging family dynamics.
Listen Without Judgment: When your teen talks about their feelings, be patient and open-minded. Avoid making dismissive comments or rushing to offer “fixes.” Instead, validate their emotions, and listen without judgment. This approach will help them feel safer coming to you with concerns or problems.
Collaborate with the School: Partner with your teen’s teachers and school counselors to explore solutions. Sometimes a simple change, like switching classes, adding tutoring, or modifying the daily schedule, can make a significant difference. While some cases of school avoidance may be addressed at the school level, others may require more in-depth support.
Seek Professional Help: If school avoidance is linked to anxiety, depression, or trauma, therapy for teens and families can provide needed support. Therapy for teens can help your teen understand and navigate their feelings in healthy ways. As well as develop coping strategies, and come up with solutions for life stressors.
Gradual Exposure to School: When school avoidance is severe or habitual, a gradual approach to reintroducing school attendance can be helpful. A mental health professional can help formulate a plan to slowly reintegrate a teen back into school. This method might start with simply talking about school. Then progress to visiting the school grounds, walking through the front door, and attending short periods of class. Each small step builds confidence and reduces anxiety over time.
How Therapy For Teens and Family at Liz Morrison Therapy Helps
At Liz Morrison Therapy, we understand that addressing school avoidance is about more than just getting teens back to class. It’s about understanding and resolving the underlying issues. Our experienced clinicians work with teens and their families to uncover the root causes of school avoidance and develop a plan that fosters resilience and healthy coping strategies. Therapy can help teens identify stressors, work through emotions, and gradually face academic and social challenges with a renewed sense of strength.
If your family is dealing with school avoidance, reach out to us for a free consultation. Let's get you and your family the care and support you deserve.
Find Support For Your Teen With Therapy For Teens in Manhattan, Brooklyn, New York City, and anywhere else in New York
If your teen is struggling with school avoidance, therapy for teens can provide the compassionate support they need to overcome this challenge. Together at Liz Morrison Therapy, we’ll help them build confidence, manage stress, and address the root causes of their anxiety around school. Help your child feel more empowered and supported in facing their academic and social challenges. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
1. Contact us to schedule an appointment for Therapy for Teens
2. Begin meeting with a skilled teen therapist
3. Start supporting your teen in overcoming their school avoidance!
Other Services Offered at Liz Morrison Therapy
Our team at Liz Morrison Therapy is here to help you and your family no matter your mental health struggle. In addition to supporting your teen to overcome school avoidance in therapy for teens, our services also include Parenting Support for those looking to create healthy relationships with their children to help them live their best lives, Young Adult Therapy for individuals looking for support, guidance, and real-world strategies to help them deal with their struggles, and Anxiety Therapy for those wanting to cope with their anxiety in healthy ways. We offer services for the whole family. Our online therapy services are offered in Westchester County, Manhattan, New York City, Brooklyn, and anywhere else in New York state. For more about us check out our Blogs and FAQs.