As a group of therapists who work closely with teens, young adults, and families, we at Liz Morrison Therapy see a lot of people struggling with what’s often called “failure to launch.” This term is used to describe young people who, after finishing college or other educational programs, feel stuck and move back home. They usually feel stagnant and unsettled and are unable to move forward in their careers, relationships, or personal development. This phase can be pre-empted by or accompany intense feelings of anxiety, depression, and shame, making it difficult to take the next steps in life.
If you’re a young adult in this position or a parent watching your child struggle, please know that “failure to launch” isn’t a personal failure. Instead, it’s a nuanced set of challenges that require awareness, support, and a compassionate approach. Understanding the emotional struggles behind failure to launch – and when to seek support with young adult therapy – can help you or your child move toward independence and empowerment in a healthier, more balanced way.
Four Emotional Challenges Behind Failure to Launch
Failure to launch isn’t usually a personal or conscious decision somebody makes. Young adults struggling to live their lives out in the world are often battling underlying mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and intense fear or pressure to succeed. Here are four of the most common emotional struggles that can cause failure to launch.
1. Anxiety and Rumination
One of the most common themes we see in our work with young adults is anxiety about the future or rumination about the past. Many teens and 20-somethings worry about finding the “right” job or career path, which can lead to overwhelm and decision paralysis. Plus, leaving the known container of school, friends, and classes – and having to navigate the uncertainty of adulthood – can feel really scary.
This anxiety is often intensified by the pressure to succeed quickly or have everything figured out. We frequently hear young clients say things like, "Everyone else except me knows what they’re doing" or "I’m falling behind." These thoughts create a cycle of fear that can keep you or your child from starting to explore career options or take risks in the job market.
2. Fear of Failure
Closely related to anxiety is the fear of failure. Young adults feel a lot of pressure in academics, their family and social lives, and in the world. Many avoid applying for jobs, pursuing relationships, or making big decisions because they’re afraid of failing, embarrassing themselves, or being unable to handle what happens. These fears can be paralyzing, causing people to stay in the safety of their childhood homes or avoid opportunities altogether rather than risk the pain and uncertainty of the outside world.
3. Depression and Lack of Motivation
For some young adults, the failure to launch phase is pre-empted or accompanied by depression, which can make it difficult to find the energy and drive to pursue goals. Depression often manifests as feelings of hopelessness, fatigue, a general sense of sadness or anguish, and a lack of interest or motivation in activities that were once enjoyable. This can make the already challenging process of finding a job or striking out on your own even more difficult.
4. Identity and Self-Worth Issues
Another big struggle for young adults is the challenge of defining their identity outside of school. Many have spent years focused almost entirely on academics and suddenly feel lost when that structure, support, and environment is no longer there. Without a clear sense of purpose or direction – and without peers, friends, and a supportive community to help them through difficulties – young adults may experience feelings of inadequacy, identity crises, and low self-worth.
Advice for Young Adults Struggling with Failure to Launch
If you’re a young adult feeling stuck or the parent of one, know that it takes time, patience, and self-compassion to get unstuck. This phase of life is challenging and painful, but there are gentle and effective ways to navigate it that can help. Here are a few steps you can take to start moving forward.
Set small, manageable goals. Break larger and overwhelming tasks or objectives into smaller, achievable steps. For example, instead of looking at all the hundreds of jobs rapidly populating LinkedIn every day and shutting down with decision paralysis, commit to applying to 3 or 4 jobs per week. Then, try to create a routine around that goal so it sticks. Set an alarm and carve out time (at the same time of day, if possible) to complete job applications on the days you’re on the career hunt.
Get involved in your community. Getting yourself out of the house and involved in something enjoyable in your neighborhood or city can disrupt the ennui and help propel you forward when you’re struggling. Whether it’s volunteering at a pet shelter, joining a Jiu-Jitsu club, or working at a local farm, getting involved can provide a big mood boost.
Practice self-compassion. Recognize that everyone’s journey is different, and there’s no need to rush. Be kind to yourself as you work through the challenges.
Focus on progress, not perfection. Perfectionism is tied closely with anxiety and often results in procrastination and paralysis. Moving forward, even in small ways, is a sign of growth. Your journey is your own, and it’s going to be different from your friends and peers.
Seek support. Whether it’s through therapy, friends, or family, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to navigate this phase alone.
How Young Adult Therapy at Liz Morrison Can Help
At Liz Morrison Therapy, our skilled young adult therapists understand how difficult it is for young people and their families to navigate the challenges of adulthood. Change and transition can trigger fears, mental health issues, and cycles of feeling stuck. Here are some of the ways we can help in therapy for young adults and families.
Normalizing Your Experience
One of the first things our therapists do when working with young people who feel stuck is to normalize their experience. This generation faces unique challenges – economic uncertainty, enormous student loan debt, extreme living expenses, and a highly competitive job market. These external pressures can make it difficult to move forward, and it’s important to recognize that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed or unsure of your next steps.
Addressing Underlying Mental Health Issues
If anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges are contributing to the feeling of being stuck (and they often are), addressing these issues is an essential first step. Therapy provides a supportive space to work through these emotions and develop coping strategies. These might include things like:
Mindfulness techniques
Challenging negative thought patterns
Building small, achievable goals
Finding your strengths and cultivating those
You’ll get the support and tools you need to manage your mental health and move forward with confidence.
Building Life Skills
We’re here to create a safe space to process feelings of shame, overwhelm, and aloneness without judgment. We work together to focus on developing key skills like resilience, emotion regulation, self-compassion, communication, perseverance, and a growth mindset. Learning life skills is incredibly freeing and empowering, allowing you to approach challenges with more proactivity, openness, flexibility around mistakes, and less self-criticism.
Young Adult and Family Therapy in New York City and Anywhere in New York
If you’re looking for help getting out of the young adult failure to launch rut, reach out to us at Liz Morrison Therapy to learn more about how we can help. Let's get you and your family the care and support you deserve.
Overcome Failure to Launch With Young Adult Therapy in Manhattan, Brooklyn, New York City, and Anywhere in New York
If you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed in the transition to adulthood, don't navigate this journey alone. At Liz Morrison Therapy, we provide compassionate support with young adult therapy for those struggling with the challenges of “failure to launch,” helping you build confidence, resilience, and a clear path forward. Reach out to begin your healing journey and take the first step toward independence and empowerment. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
1. Contact us to schedule an appointment for Young Adult Therapy
2. Begin meeting with a skilled young adult therapist
3. Start overcoming the challenges of failure to launch!
Other Services Offered at Liz Morrison Therapy
Our team at Liz Morrison Therapy is here to help you and your family no matter your mental health struggle. In addition to supporting you in overcoming your challenges with Young Adult Therapy, our services also include Parenting Support for those looking to create healthy relationships with their children to help them live their best lives, Therapy for Teens for parents looking for support in helping their teens with school, anxiety, depression, and more, and Anxiety Therapy for those wanting to cope with their anxiety in healthy ways. We offer services for the whole family. Our online therapy services are offered in Westchester County, Manhattan, New York City, Brooklyn, and anywhere else in New York state. For more about us check out our Blogs and FAQs.